The Cost of Following Your Dreams

The Illusion

I remember when I was a little kid, and people would always tell me to follow my dreams. I would think to myself, "why would anyone not follow their dreams." It seemed like such a black and white choice. If you wanted to do something why would you let anything get in the way of that. As I got a little older I began to see some of the difficulties associated with chasing dreams. Often times dreams require a sacrifice. Dreams require some sort of payment before you are allowed to embark on them. An easy example for me would be when I went to China. I had never traveled outside of the country prior to this, but my best friend from college told me we should go. I was pumped, until I saw the cost of this school trip. Granted, they helped with fundraising in major ways, but still I was looking at thousands of dollars. This is an insane amount of money to me now, and even more so when I was a poor college student. I scrambled and scrambled to get fundraisers set up, and I had some serious opportunities in the future. However, my deadline to order my passport was quickly approaching, nearly 3 days away. Traveling to China was my dream at the time, and I had to offer a sacrifice in order to pursue it. I needed around $100 for my passport, I had close to -$5 haha. I rummaged through all of my possessions to find out what I could sell quickly to get that kind of money. I didn't own anything that was worth that much, except a gift I got from my dad from graduation. It was this amazing long board. It was made by a company called Loaded, a high end high quality company that makes the best. This was my prized possession. I would ride it nearly every day on campus and downtown in the parking garages on the weekends. I had taught close to 2 dozen people how to longboard with this sole possession. It allowed me to make so many friends, but I wanted my dream to become a reality, so I sold it to a friend. It hurt, it cut deep. It was a sacrifice. 

The Reality

Looking back now, I'm sure it is easy to see as a reader too, that was such an insignificant sacrifice. It pales in comparison to sacrifices made each day by people around the world. As you get older, more rooted, comfortable, and connected the sacrifices transition from a material one to one of much greater value, emotional. 

The sentiments I felt as a kid about sacrifice lingered on into adulthood. There was this idea that to chase my dreams I would have to overcome some evil or persevere past a trial. However, the concept of sacrifice has manifested into being the people I love the most. 

The Dream

Ever since that first China trip, I have yearned to see the world. I want to meet ever person in existence. I want to sit for a coffee at a table surrounded by all the people of the world. I want to go everywhere that anyone has ever loved. These are hefty dreams, and hefty dreams come with hefty prices. For years I have had to ask myself if I am willing to pay this price. I resolved, yes. I have met too many people that will never get the opportunity because they chose a different route in life. People who have pursued their education, career, a family, or who have been too scared to go. These people have made their sacrifice in another direction. The cost was too great for them. However, my dream to travel will not be impeded. I suppose I will soon find the cost.

The Cost

Over the past 8 years I have lived in Hattiesburg, MS. I spent 4 years doing my undergraduate and 3 years completing my masters. I have also taught at a local private school for 3 years. Over the past year I have become friends with people that have pushed me to be so much greater than I could have ever imagined. They have challenged me to be a man of the highest repute. They have made me set goals that are exponentially higher than any I previously held. They have offered me support in times of need, and likewise they have called upon me in times of trouble. The friends and colleagues I have from college are top notch. The people who helped me through my education when times were bleak will forever hold a place dear in my heart. We underwent some of the crazies tribulations side by side. Then there are my students from the past 3 years. Since it is a small private school, I teach every student. All 153 of them. I know them each by name, I know their quirks, their likes, dislikes, and they know me. We have impacted each other in a manner I have never experienced. Each day around them I grow more and more fonder. We laugh together, grow together, and learn together. I have been there for them when they scraped their knees, got their feelings hurt, had a bad grade, were bullied, had family problems, and so much more. The school has so many extracurriculars that it was rare for me to be around them only 8 hours of the day. I coached there too, and would often spend around an extra 8 hours a week with my running team. These kids aren't perfect by any means, but we were growing into better people together. They taught me to love stronger, laugh harder, and talk sweeter. Many of my coworkers were as close as family too. I have had a few that I would confide in when no one else was there. We resembled a large dysfunctional family more than a workplace. Then there is a girl I have been dating for some months now. She completely came into my life out of the blue, and we have had some awesome times together. Our story is pretty wild, and we are figuring out together what life looks like when someone begins chasing their dreams, and it is in the opposite direction as the other.

So in total, the cost:  306 of the most supportive parents of the children I teach, 153 amazing students, 40ish members of my running community, 8 encouraging coworkers, 4 of the best running buddies a guy could ask for, 3 of the closest family members I have, 1 awesome girlfriend, and 1 job of a life time. All this in exchange to travel the world for 10 months. 

Certainty

My dad would tell me when I was a kid that the only certainties in life were death and taxes. I know I know, such a dad thing to say haha. I have since tried to adopt a view of certainty in whatever I do. I believe this will be the link back to running, "sacrifice and certainty." So after reading the above you probably think I seem on the fence about leaving, and that couldn't be further from the truth. Because when it comes to certainty, I crave it. I need it. I can't live without it. I will never be certain sitting comfortably at my desk surrounded by all those precious comforts of life. I will only be certain once I go do it, and from where I am sitting, I am certain I will try. It is in this idea of "try" that people often lose sight. Because when we think of the word "try" it comes with the connotations of success or failure. As humans we love success and hate failure. We would much rather attempt something with a greater success rate and lower risk of failure even if the pay off isn't what we truly want. Failure can be scary. Our egos get in the way, and we shy away from any big risk. However, the only true failure is letting the fear of trying something inhibit you. I am not afraid to fail, I am not afraid of going an uncertain route to discover a certainty. That is exactly what I am doing. 

Applications

I'm not sure if you have noticed at this point, but this blog has much more to do with than just running. Because I believe the type of runner you are says a lot about the type of person you are and Vice Versa. For the same reason I restrained myself from dropping a tear in front of my students is the same reason I talk with such certainty. I do not want anyone who has a dream in life to ever be afraid of following it. I definitely do not want my students to be timid to pursue their dreams, and I would encourage the same for you. The cost is great but so is the reward: Certainty. Whether your dream is to run a marathon, get healthy, PR your 5k, travel the world, have confidence, combat depression, or succeed in your career, go for it. Do not be afraid to fail, the success is in the decision not the result. 

Sincerely,

Josh Moore (Coach)